This is harder than I thought it would be.

My grandma, who taught me how to crochet, died.

I don't know what more to say than that.

Blogging seems so weird now, because it all started because of her, really, and I can't seem to start a blog post without thinking of that, and then I derail because all I can think to write is, my grandma isn't here any more, and I miss her, even though we were only close when she was teaching me how to crochet.

How sad is that?  I think that's what gets me the most.  That side of the family doesn't really get along, and I can't remember a Christmas or Thanksgiving that didn't involve yelling or fighting, so I stayed away as much as possible to avoid all the bullshit fights that started over nothing.  Now I can't go back.

We didn't even have a funeral.  Probably because everyone would fight. I keep waiting for the release I get from saying my final goodbye, and I'm never going to get that.  So then now, three weeks later, when I'm on the verge of tears from even thinking about it, I feel silly.  Like, I shouldn't be crying over a woman who I wasn't really as close with as I would have liked to been, but I still miss her, and I think people won't understand why I'm upset.

Later, I'll talk about my sweater.  I just need this right now.

Better late than never, I suppose.

Finally, here is Traveling Ann's Lie to Me Hat in person!

And even though Ann is awesome, I'm going to admit that I didn't quite follow the pattern as you wrote it. (like always...) Instead of holding a yarn double, I just used my hand spun held single because I didn't want to use rent money on yarn...again. It knits like a dream and I'm pretty sure several in my family will be getting this for Christmas, if that's alright with you, Ann? 


Lets see, I've also started on a baby blanket for one of my oldest and bestest friends.  I keep forgetting that I'm 22 and not 12, and people my age do in fact spawn.  I'm still working on this.  But the blanket is going to be amazing and soft and the little chichorito is going to love it...assuming I can convince the cable in the pattern to stop being a stuck up bitch.  


Sock heels still suck but I've made my peace with that because Jeff bought me 2 1/2 pounds of dreamy corriedale that is going to be dyed, spun and then knit into a sweater.  Plus it means that when he find yarn all over his backpack, it isn't totally my fault anymore.  I love dating an enabler. 


(pssssst. Look at all my new pages!) 

Why, Caitie. Why do this to yourself.

I'm in trouble.

Not "HOLY &@^% if my mother finds out I did this, no matter how old I am, she will murder me," trouble.  But "I'm going to eat this bag of Cheetos even though I'll regret it in more ways then one," trouble.

I really, really, really, REALLY want to knit a sweater.  I even have the perfect wee pattern that uses a super chunky yarn to make it process go by faster.  I even have this crazy feeling that it will cease to be a million-bajillion degrees outside and I'll be able wear the sweater.  

I'm just a cheap bastard. Looking around, I saw that it'll cost me about $50-60 bucks, not including shipping, to get yarn for this project.  I don't know if I can do this.  If the yarn was 30 bucks, and in a color that doesn't look like shit on me, then I'd have that on lock down.  Unfortunately, that isn't the case.

I thought since I graduated from college, the whole "broke student" reality wouldn't apply to me.  Damn.  But if anyone sees or knows where I can find some good super chunky yarn on the inexpensive level, please, please, please, let me know.  I'll owe you my first born child, or something.

I love you. I hate you. I wear you.

Socks.

Unless it's summer or you're wearing heels, then you probably wear these little buggers quite often.  Probably white, and it came with 6 other pairs for two bucks from Wal-Mart.  If you're in a position to make socks, then I'm sure that unlike me, you have a whole drawer full of charming handmade feet covers some place in your home, from the every day wool garter stitch socks to the special silk-cotton blend that you break out twice a year on special occasions.  And you probably enjoy making them, to some degree.

Again, here's where I can't yet fit the stereotype.

I love making socks.  I love the little project that fits perfectly in a bag and that doesn't require much space to work on.  I love that I memorized the pattern so I can hold a conversation while I work.  I don't even mind knitting on a size 2 needle.  Knitting mind you.  Purling?  Fucking. Hate. It.

I don't know why, but purling with those small needles is a special kind of hell for me, which means that my cuff ribbing is as short as possible and looks like crap, and my heels are a tad wonky and I hate every minute of it.  I get through that part as fast as possible so I can just do the rest in plain garter stitch and whip out a pair of every day socks.

Which would be totally awesome, but I would like to some day incorporate patterns into my socks.  Maybe a cable here or a hint of a lace pattern there...which all requires purling...or at least a stitch manipulation.

Is there any way to make purling on sock needles easier?  Traveling Ann (Who is all kinds of awesome.  And understands my zombie obsession) gave me a different heel pattern to try.  And since these are Jeff's hiking socks, I'm 90% certain that he won't mind one heel being different.  I'm also 90% certain that he won't notice....

Seriously, if anyone has any suggestions about purling shortcuts, or just how to make it less painful, I'm open to suggestions.

Missing: Active urge to knit and crochet. If seen, call me.

When I first started things blog (two summers ago, happy late blogversery to me!) I said that the main reason I crocheted was because it was the only free way to recover from a total mental break down, thanks to school.  Having a place to, as Ken put it, crochet and swear, made everything a lot better.  Especially when I realized that there is a whole community out there who also crochet and swears.  Or knits, spins, dyes....you get the point.

Since school has been out in May, my stress has been down to pre-puberty levels, meaning that I don't have any anger issues to take out on inanimate objects.

On the one hand, I love this.  I've stopped chewing on my nails and the area under my eyes looks more like my actual skin tone than Eye Black.  But that nervous, twitchy drive that I've relied on isn't there any more, and I don't need to do a mind numbing creative task just to knock out.

I need to find that creative drive again.  Maybe this is a good thing about summer ending, and I'll realize that I'm freezing my ass off and need to rectify that with wool.  Like a sweater that I'm wanting to make, even though I'm slightly nervous about making something with sleeves.

What I did on my summer vacation.

I bought a spinning wheel. It's a Bea Modern with a built in Lazy Kate.  It spins like a dream and I love it so much.  Probably because I got it second had for a flat $200, even after getting it shipped from the Netherlands.

I spun more yarn than you could shake a stick at.

I even learned how to dye it with Kool Aid and tea.

This lead to a re-branding of Crochet Creations by Caitie, which is now Fiber Fashionista. 

http://www.etsy.com/shop/FiberFashionista

Then I turned 22 in Vegas. 

And got an internship at blue22pr

Things I didn't do on my summer vacation:

Worry about school.

Blog. 

That first one is awesome, but the second one?  Yeah I'm about to get right on that...

I'm gonna love him, and squeeze him and call him George

John Steinbeck and I have had a thing since I was 12, probably because I can relate to his experiences of living in a farm community.  Don't judge me.

(News flash, Jeff apparently doesn't know who John Steinbeck is.  How we've gone 3 years without me knowing this is a gut wrenching mystery, and must be mended on our next trip to the library.  Don't fight it.  You're going to read East of Eden and enjoy it, dammit.  ....Love you!)

So last weekend after a few crappy shifts at the jobjob, I was feeling pretty blech, and decided to get a used spinning wheel that I had my eye one for about two weeks.  It's called a Bea Modern, and from what I've heard, it's pretty popular in the Netherlands, where the lady selling it is from.

I know I'm not punctuating my sentences with multiple exclamation points (!!!!!) or CAPS LOCK.  AND BRIEF SENTENCES, but I'm freakin' excited about the possibility of not hand spinning unless I want to.  The spinning wheel comes with three spindles and a lazy kate, and for 50 bucks more I could have bought an umbrella winder and a ball winder.  But I don't have the space...yet.

Honestly, just thinking about finally having a spinning wheel makes me fidget and want to buy my weight in fleece.  The joy and excitement that I'm feeling could only possibly be matched by the joy I'll feel on my wedding day or the birth of my children.  Maybe.

I'm still not really sure where I'll be putting the spinning wheel, because my apartment is basically 25X25.  Yeah, hole in the wall.  But if Jeff and I stay in Arizona, we'll be moving to a larger apartment in the same complex, so then I should have more room, but alas, no yarn room, yet.